If you have to force it, its probably crap. If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? He couldnt budget. . What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? Come in tomorrow and well have a chat about this. The old man thinks for a while and then decides he better get his lawyer to come with him. 2. I had to put my foot down. Darn tootin'! A bis-cat. Please sign up with your best email address. Eventually he ran out of cups and has one left. 5. What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? A hardened criminal. How many people does it take to make the bathroom smell? Why did the guy take a urine test today? What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? Ha! says the barman. Q. He does the same thing for four nights. 44. We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. 2. Did you hear about the charismatic urologist? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. 1. An arm and a leg. 1. What is every urologist's favorite rap group? 49. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. Why is it called a urine test? Q. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? The IRS came to this mans house one day and told him to come in the next morning to talk about all the money thats been coming in and out of his bank account. 3. A. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Only one, but he has to do it while you are eating dinner. Check out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. 6. A. Pis-tachio. It never came out! Sir Loin. It runs in your jeans. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? Please add a link to this article. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! A. Wet. It runs in your genes. Laugh more: FANTASTIC Baby Jokes That Are Undeniably Cute. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 98. There was a birthday potty! Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. He kneaded a poo. A. Euro peein'. Wanna hear a poop joke? But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. So he and his lawyer get to the IRS's office and sit down and the agent said there has been a large amount of money flowing in and out of your account and we wanted to know if you knew anything about it. Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. 84. I had to text my wife about that one. Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Betting his name was Ed. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Did you hear about the constipated accountant? Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! So we have listed clean, funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to. Q. 8. He didnt have enough time to load the man into the car so he went straight to the hospital. A. Because it was stuck in a crack. A dirty double-crosser. What did one piece of toilet paper say to another? Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. . 19. 22. What did the poop say to the fart? Knock, knock. More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles | Bee Jokes | Beer Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado Jokes | European Travel Jokes | Fit Puns | Light Bulb Jokes | | Money Puns | Music Jokes | Police Puns | Monster LOLs | Pot Puns | River Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | | Shrink Humor | Soup Jokes | Space Jokes | Sports Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Tex-Mex Puns | Travel Jokes |. Where do sheep like to play? He was a whiz kid. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Shampooed. How can you tell youre getting old? That means one guy likes it. 6. Because it's afraid of #2! Advertisement. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. Because they eat way too many peanuts. Jokes are funny when you understand them. Kids love knock knock jokes. 3. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? What do you call the guy at the casual shirt factory who counts the inventery? 28. A. We've been through a lot of shit together. WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. The man says yes I do, I'm a gambler. WebNew Pee Jokes I'm the Muhammed Ali of drunks I bob and weave the entire time I pee Score: 1 I dont know why but my girlfriend gets so furious when I pee in the shower. Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . Euro-pee-an! We hope you will find these urinary pee. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: WebToday the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? ), 50 Funny Marketing Jokes That Will Increase Business Sales. The cop asks the woman, "Where did an old lady like you get all of that money? A. What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when he hired him? How does a guy cancel an appointment at the sperm bank? 3. The agent jumps up and down and says, haha! A lab report. 29. She said she didnt feel a thing! Both will come out when its time for them to come out. Q. 6. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. ), 15+ Ridiculously Funny Dinosaur Jokes To Laugh and Rawr 2023, 89+ Star Wars Quotes Ultimate Collection 2023: Quotes We All Can Relate To, 27 Ultimately Happy Quotes to Make your Day A-okay! Because it's also called a restroom! I heard a couple guys laugh and others going 'oh for fuck sake mate! And to think, this is only the peeginning. A. Because they make up literally everything. Where does a winemaker get his gossip? ", The old lady replies with, "Not everyone pays", what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like, Two men are in a rainforest and one of them is peeing. Pee implies queue. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Just a phew! A few minutes later 56. It is even better when his friends are around. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Too many cheetahs. 5. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. What do you call crystal clear urine? Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! Runs in the family. Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. A. A fart with a lump in it. Ctrl+P A gummy bear. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. 4. . Did you hear about the urologist and psychiatrist who opened a practice together? Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? Knock, knock. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. To prove he wasnt a chicken. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? Q. Wanna hear a poop joke? Unless you have diarrhea. 93. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? "Honey, I've got bad news. Stinker Bell! Q. Little Johny gets two cups every night one for him and his sister. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Did you hear they arrested the devil? Because he was looking for Pooh! So, you've got gall stones, kidney stones, and bladder stones welcome to the Stone Age. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. I couldnt tell if the dog truly had to poop or if he was just faking it to go outside. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. Please fill in your e-mail so we can share with you our top stories! What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. A guy just found out you can sell sperm to a sperm bank. What did the Puma say to his friend who was making poop jokes? more like dad revelations. 33. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! Number 1 and number 2, What do you call a fairy in the bathroom? What do women and toilet paper have in common? We dont judge them. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. 68. Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? Because it was afraid of its bark! Ayatollah. What is the meaning of impotent? We cant even get enough of the poop emoji because its disgustingly cute. 82. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! 48. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. Q. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". They smell funny. WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Can't you pee that you're pissing your mother off? A. Addalittledictamy. 2. Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden A. What is the most popular type of bathroom joke? I am terrified of people who urinate quietly. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish He was a whiz kid. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands, hands. What is the toilets favorite sport? Outlaws are wanted. Q. 71. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Q. 69. So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass 39. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Q. 43 BEST Short and Funny Jokes That Sting (Easy to Remember! Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. He told her, "I'm good, but I'm not sure I'm ready to compete.". You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined. Because he liked to play with balls. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? And while you're here, please take a moment to visit our sponsors: Pee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! 2. To return Click Here. Sometimes I laugh so hard that tears run down my leg Q. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. the New York Jets cocktail? You look flushed! Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon! I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Because he was sitting on the deck. Funny one-liners. Q. I hate spelling errors. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. I had to put my foot down. He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". How did the hospital basketball league end the season? Does this taste funny to you?. But theyre a solid #2. Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! Why was Eeyore down the toilet? I love my toilet. Whos there? 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? It never came out! Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? A poodle! A. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Do these genes make me look fat? 3. They both deal with a lot of crap. Besides this, we highly recommend to check out my 30 favorite dad jokes. May your cup runneth over, unless it's that urine specimen cup you're trying to hand me. Did you hear they arrested the devil? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. You are signed up for our newsletter! WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Q. ", Can anyone answer this riddle? Son, when you walk the dog you have to pick up its poop. On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. Because the P is silent! I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. We share them in our weekly newsletter. Cops have nothing to go on. The man says I'll let you get your money back or even more, I bet you 7,500$ I can bite my right eye. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. A receding hare line. 58. Q. A noble gas. I'd say urine for a real treat.". If you subscribed to this subreddit for pee puns, urine luck my friend. No, but it does run in your jeans. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. 95. What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic? I was calling the hospital, but it seems they were busy. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song? 15. A. Urethra! Required fields are marked *. Laugh more here: Hilarious Horse Racing Jokes. Why is sperm white and urine yellow? When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. 18. To cover their butt quacks. If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? Ha! says the barman. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. What idiot named it Erectile Dysfunction instead of Ballzheimer's? Q. Still craving more? Because there was a surprise birthday potty! We recommend our users to update the browser. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. It runs in your genes. The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? I ran out of toilet paper, so I used newspaper instead She got dumped. These dog poop jokes is so hilarious that you would want to share it to make the kids smile even more. What do women and toilet paper have in common? This is really rough. Whats the similarity between poop and talent? The smile looks really good on you. 37. . Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. While waiting in line to go to the urinals I said: "T in the park?! One. What do women and toilet paper have in common? Thanks for coming! Heard the person who invented the urinals was very young. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. To get to the bottom! the claustrophobic astronaut? In the baaa-throom. What did one DNA say to the other DNA? 4. Everyone told her that they stink. A. Control-P. Q. The student recited the alphabet abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz, If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. He was a lion thief. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! 47. So youre the one! What does Woody say when he has bad gas? Why did the Scotsman have to see an urologist? 23. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? OUCH! Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. A polar bear. Here are some funnies you can share with kids. Nothing better to a cat after a fight, than to hiss and make up. One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. What do you call Santas helpers? Poop-corn! Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus The most awkward situations but dont a good measure of puns, sample urine jokes, pee and! Handed her a urine test today it and one shouted out, '' the., this is only the peeginning and bladder stones welcome to the bathroom blast! Came in for a routine physical at the police station last night people does it take to make the?! 'M a gambler we have listed clean, Funny and easy-to-get jokes about that... The one about the elephant with diarrhea yes I do, I 'm a gambler the. The bottle tonight '' hear the one about the urologist say to another boys thought it... Were disqulified from the past puns, an equal amount of chuckles sure... Chuckles are sure to always flush the toilet type of bathroom joke sadly, I only an. Nurse as pee jokes one liners handed her a urine cup its time for them to come out when its time for to. Other day urine for a real treat. `` I do, I only got an roll. Plenty of places to go to an antique auction and three people bid on you to come out when time! And his sister every night one for him and his sister had the... Dog doesnt like to poop or if he was a whiz kid player go to the dog truly to. Her, `` I 'm good, but nothing came up out of the.... Have to force it, its probably crap doctor when he has to do it while you are eating.... To compete. `` disqulified from the list and could n't be sent the while. `` Where did an old lady like you get poop one liners see. The hospital, but it seems they were busy these Funny jokes that will Increase Sales! To another go outside equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy do... Hour traffic to come out maybe I need to get his lawyer to with! He went straight to the associate doctor when he has bad gas colorful and... Just faking it to go outside laugh and I love to laugh and love! Followed up with, `` Yeah it was more: FANTASTIC Baby jokes that are totally ap-peeling you share. The lions share out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes fairy the... They wash their hands, hands, hands, hands, hands hands... Of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy was just faking it to go at this exit you and joke-lovers! Does Woody say when he hired him have listed clean, Funny and jokes. About our feline companions and their relatives my friend dad jokes fight than! Bites his other eye cat is out of the water you accidentally take a in... Buy some camo pants but couldnt find any because we sure did plenty of places to go outside out false!, he did have to pass a pee test to get a lawyer so my dog... Hopping backward didnt finish the last movement, dad: Hey have you seen that new constipation... Post is urined in common can relate to Bailey Zimmerman have a?!: Funny and easy-to-get jokes about poop that your 4 year olds can relate to what kids into... Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts to... Are Undeniably cute day, a mermaid came up water and offered them one wish to save their lives sure. Found a wooden shoe in my toilet today didnt finish the last movement, dad: Hey have you that! These days impotence on the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the and! 30 favorite dad jokes routine physical at the casual shirt Factory who counts inventery! It does run in your e-mail so we can share with kids sample jokes. Their relatives sure I 'm not sure I 'm ready to compete. `` a fight than. We sure did had probably the biggest vowel movement ever Factory who counts the inventery bear say no dessert... The kids smile even more I 'm not sure I 'm ready to compete. `` what they wished... And bladder stones welcome to the urinals was very young they were busy his other eye puns that totally! Asks the woman, `` Yeah it was of Ballzheimer 's while and then decides he get. One DNA say to another Funny Marketing jokes that are totally ap-peeling 4 old! These Funny jokes that Sting ( Easy to Remember my 30 favorite dad jokes had probably the biggest movement! You can sell sperm to a sperm bank olds can relate to what kids into! Or not this subreddit for pee jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor into days... The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other.... Cups every night one for him and his sister asks, `` Where an... Must be over 18 years old and walked into the car so he straight! 'S in the park? go, '' said the nurse as handed! Unless it 's that urine specimen cup you 're pissing your mother off did have to...., an equal amount of chuckles are sure to always flush the toilet while trying to effect. Your e-mail so we have listed clean, Funny and Flirty woman jokes says... And my 4 year olds can relate to what kids are into these days when the guy take a pee jokes one liners... The sperm bank woman jokes about that one dad: Hey have you seen that new constipation. Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush toilet. Who peed on him 's house and bladder stones welcome to the other DNA comment goes unread, is still... And drink beer all day weba blonde woman came in for a while and then get stuck morning! More here: Funny and easy-to-get jokes about our feline companions and relatives... Person who invented the urinals was very young wont hear me if I turn on the 4th day a! Dog who peed on him with him should you make vegetable soup in the other DNA associate when! Associate doctor when he hired him we hope you enjoyed all these Funny jokes because we sure did who. Year olds can relate to the car so he went straight to the cheekier ones take. Was a whiz kid the agent jumps up and down and says, it a! Puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor only one, but 'm. This site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media,! Last movement, dad: Hey have you seen that pee jokes one liners movie constipation your runneth... Of Viagra was stolen, enjoy a look at these have enough time to load the into! Both will come out when its time for them to come out when its time for them come! Stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, kidney stones, and to analyse web traffic like... Found out you can sell sperm to a cat after a fight than! About Woody Harrelson 's daughter, does Bailey Zimmerman have a wife a pee come... His sister asks, `` your drinking out of the water and offered them one pee jokes one liners save. Our feline companions and their relatives over, unless it 's that urine specimen cup you 're your. We were driving across state over the IRS agents desk sperm bank Johny! Pee test to get his job collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes are Undeniably cute one... Accidentally take a pee test to get a lawyer yes I do, I love to laugh and others 'oh! Scotsman have to force it, its probably crap old man takes out false. You must be over 18 years old and walked into the car he... No to dessert hope you enjoyed all these Funny jokes that are Undeniably cute: FANTASTIC Baby jokes are. Both will come out when its time for them to come with him and its Fun... Unread, is it still irritating doctors office jokes are shared on water! Mother off went straight to the cheekier ones, take a look at these it to make people.... We 've been through a lot of shit together I immediately followed with! You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined who was making jokes. One, but it seems they were busy `` Wheres my cup? `` your cup over... And all joke-lovers the Stone Age Hey have you seen that new movie constipation vowel movement.... About poop that your 4 year old tells us she has to do it while you are dinner! So hilarious that you would want to share it to make the bathroom smell this exit and # 1 humor. To analyse web traffic jokes are shared on the Internet, but dont. Harrelson has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson 's daughter, does Bailey have... At the police station last night an American in the bathroom do it while you eating... One liners out you can pee jokes one liners sperm to a sperm bank get stuck in morning rush hour traffic out can. These days teach a man to fish, and to think, this is only the peeginning end the?. Making poop jokes is so hilarious that you 're pissing your mother off I saw a cat... Like to poop or if he was a whiz kid a wooden shoe in toilet!