Im still amazed at the relevance that Men Are from Mars still has, 25 years after it was published! You saw in the book, the statistics are just terrible with this. Its a very important exception. PR.com: Many people will be surprised by this information. For more information on Dr. John Gray, visit www.marsvenus.com. PR.com: Ive heard a lot of these stories from women I know; young women in their twenties and early thirties. In this post, I want to look at what John Gray is supposed to dowhat his job isand at what Bonnie Gray is supposed to do. Complaining is a habit you want to break. In hardcover, it was the #1 best-selling book of the 1990s. My approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. They have three grown daughters and A side effect is that they stop being women. (This latter means, of course, that they stop being women in the way Gray thinks they ought to be.). You just go away for a day and do things that you love to do, and if you want you can give me a call, and Ill get a babysitter and come visit you at a hotel room., John Gray: It was a very sweet time of our lives and I remember it very clearly. That was good for me and it was good for her. John Gray is the author of the most well-known and trusted relationship book of all time, Dr. Gray has written over 20 books. And I dont know them, but theyd been married forty years. Any time a man has difficult challenge something hes good at and enjoys doing hes testosterone goes up. What inspired this book (Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice) is the research that was done at UCLA on oxytocin. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. Check out Dr. Joels interview on how to prevent heart disease. Its kind of like in the old days when men had their smoking or drinking clubs. Please contact us anytime at help@healcircle.org for any questions or to just connect and share your thoughts! What is the core of men? These differences are reflected in our biology: our hormones and brain chemistry. Collect, curate and comment on your files. But in becoming like men it raised their stress levels off the chart, and when womens stress levels are high then they experience dissatisfaction in their relationships. Early man had to learn to duck and dodge his enemies in battle, for instance, so it should come naturally for a husband to duck and dodge his wifes unreasonable tongue-lashing. So the greater the stress in our lives, the more the differences [between men and women] will tend to show up. . Men need high testosterone. But giving testosterone is not the answer, its that he is not making enough. I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. All rights reserved. Boards are the best place to save images and video clips. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. His point in this book is that we dont know what we need to know because our parents didnt tell us and they didnt tell us because we are living a life that would have mystified them entirely. The truth is [a womans] brain is eight times more active under stress than a mans, in the emotional part of the brain. For men their hearts open when they are successful in helping others. I just need to talk for a while and feel that you care.. Anything else, he will defend himself. According to John Gray, PhD, relationships expert and author and creator of the Mars and Venus franchise, the answer is yes. For women, anytime they do things that they enjoy doing, feel safe doing, their cortisol and adrenalin will go down. You did it again! I helped him see her point of view, and I helped him see how he created the mess. This website is not intended to create a physician-patient relationship between you and HealCircle or its practitioners. These are role mate relationships where people play out their roles in order to create harmony. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. In this episode: Proven tips to immediately strengthen your relationship The biggest mistakes people make in the home Secrets of a happy marriage; and This guy has a problem because guys wont want to hang out with him, and girls will be like friends to him, but they are never going to want to have a relationship with him. A collaboration between Wellness Force and Essential Oil Wizardry to provide inspiration for you click here. Its hard for her to open up and be vulnerable. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. Links and Resources. Note the singular and plural problems in that sentence so I can ask you about them when we remember. dr john gray wife, bonnie dr john gray wife, bonnie. Spiritual growth can only occur when you become aware of that, feel it, and know it. The big surge of estrogen a woman will feel when she does something for her partner; no matter if it was something big or small. My wife and I have been together for thirty years, and weve been married twenty-five years. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to say and providing a particular kind of loving support. Ditch the uncertainty & get the love you deserve! The next four exchanges are presented as a block. Im afraid I will not get what I want. So men with these big bellies lose their sexual desire. His many books, blogs and free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages of life and love. When the book first came out, it was primarily women who bought it. Yet, if they meet someone new and different it is easy to get it back temporarily, because new and different is a lot of challenge which stimulates dopamine, which in turn stimulates testosterone. Then we have a gift to encourage you! Pretty smart of us, I think. PR.com: I particularly love the two page cartoon in the center of this book. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. Millions of high-quality images, video, and music options are waiting for you. It cant be all that much fun to be Bonnie Gray, the wife of John Gray, the founding genius of the Mars/Venus industry. He talked to all his friends and everyone told him to end it. Webdr john gray wife, bonnie. USA Today listed his book as one of the top 10 most influential books of the last quarter century. (She persisted). If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. Author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. On the other hand a womans heart opens when she is successful in getting the love support she needs. The next four exchanges are presented as a block. He says he is ducking and dodging, continuing to hold back and not retaliate, but he is aware that he can take only so much more. High cortisol inhibits digestion, immune system and can cause high blood pressure. . Here is the resolution of the computer argument above. John Gray: In my personal life, I had been married to Bonnie (Grays wife of twenty-five years) for seven years, we had a family and we lived very happily together. We want to be the whip cream. John Gray: The receptivity is equal. When I went to Harper Collins and published Men Are From Mars they said, Why dont you [now] write primarily for women because mostly women buy these books. I said, No. It suddenly gave me more interest in her, it made me more motivated. How can we relate to one another? In saying that, Bonnie not only prepares John for the ducking and dodging he is going to have to do, but also apologizes in advance for whatever she may say that is offensive or mean-spirited. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE. This is a PR.com Article, not a, 5 Steps to Jumpstart Your Social Media Strategy, Kevin Jonas & Wife Danielle Talk "Married to Jonas," Keeping It Real & How He Got the Girl, Meghan McCain Talks Life on the Road as a Socially Liberal Republican, Kathy Hilton on Family, Fashion & Her New Collection of Special Occasion Dresses, Henry Louis Gates, Jr. Discusses His PBS Docu-Series, "Finding Your Roots", Danny Masterson Stars in Men At Work on TBS, Talks That '70s Show & Married Life with Bijou Phillips, Jesse Metcalfe Shares Inside Stories from the New Dallas on TNT. Liked what you heard? His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness, and romance. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. I dont know why you have to get another computer. PR.com: Do you think the notion of a woman being a guys girl, or a man being a girls guy, do you think that is a myth? It gets locked up and you cant access it with your partner if your testosterone levels start dropping. Maybe Im missing the brilliant revelations that have helped him build this empire. Star power. If a man said, Women are just desserts, that would be very offensive to a woman. Learning how to deal with stress is the key to heart health. A simple impactful change is to go on a complaining fast. That is all a good thing in terms of equal opportunity. About OWN:Oprah Winfrey Network is the first and only network named for, and inspired by, a single iconic leader. How much is this computer going to cost? In the nineties when the book was very popular, that is when most of the universities began having gender studies departments. . Women need to pause when they feel themselves cranking up the grievance machine. John Gray: There is a wide spectrum of couples counseling, and some of it in my experience has told me again and again that it is not very effective. And when did you first conduct the research for this book? Im a feminist in terms of supporting women. Bonnie: "There Is Life After Breast Cancer" | Book of John Whats wrong with the computer you already have? We charge a nominal fee for our Bootcamps in order to cover our costs of running the bootcamps and the doctors time. I was disappointed or frustrated key is to add emotions as opposed to statements like you dont care. Learning to deal with our emotions and stress is the key to heart health. John Gray uses his interactions with Bonnie mostly to provide instructions to men about how to deal with wives who seem petulant and unreasonable. John and Bonnie Gray, Just Doin TheirJobs. If you want him to become more sensitive, he needs to hear your feelings. When something seems amiss, and someone is acting irrationally, you should immediately try to get to the source of the problem, rather than reacting to the symptoms. Preparing comes next. These are. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. John: I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. John Gray: Both things are going on simultaneously. Then, that gives rise to misunderstanding. Exploring the different dynamics in our modern world for both partners working outside of the home. Brain scans were developed and every department had brain scans and you could start seeing how mens and womens brains reacted differently in situations. Your email address will not be published. People kept saying, You have to write this in a book. Finally, I put it down in a book after about eight years of teaching and called it, Men, Women and Relationships. In that sense, there is symmetry to their roles. Professionally, I had been teaching about relationships for a good ten years and much of that time was teaching about the differences between man and women, and very successfully. Over 333+ Unique Organic / Wildcrafted Essential Oils, CO2 Extracts, Floral Absolutes, Ultrasonic Extracts, Package Sets and Wizard Alchemy Products. Do you find that it is women or men who are most receptive to what you teach? This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. He would protect them and he would help fix things when they break, and he was kind of the emergency man (a term Gray refers to in his book). Very little more was expected of him. I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. Having a home life made success greater than Id ever imagined. In doing so, stress levels can be kept in check as romantic feelings begin to re-blossom. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. In hardcover, it was the #1 best selling book of the 1990s. PR.com: Even when your kids were really little? Exploring the four kinds of love that women need: caring, respect, understanding, and. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. Dr. John Gray and The Mars and Venus Wellness Solution. In contrast, the soul mate relationship provides the unique emotional support to fully express our authentic self which includes both our masculine and feminine qualities. PR.com: Yes, that is true. If people arent reminded of how they continually create the problems that they experience in life, then they feel victimized, and of course the love stops flowing and they want to end the relationship. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. Well I AM upset. PR.com: Ill admit I was making that mistake. How ejaculation impacts a man's testosterone and estrogen levels whether it's from, What happens to a woman's emotional and hormonal health when they're. Since Johns responsibility is to duck and dodge, you will not be surprised to learn that Bonnies are to pause and prepare.. Some of them are preferences, some of them are simply temperaments. Its starting to sound like youre saying Im this selfish person. We want to be the add-on. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. Why going out of one's comfort zone through action and behavior will help raise your testosterone levels. They have three grown daughters and Author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and his latest, Beyond Mars and Venus, Dr. John Gray, returns to share what has changed for him since his first interview on Wellness Force, how we can hold space in relationships, the four kinds of love, and how porn is hurting relationships. For your testosterone level to stay that high, you have to feel confident that you are loved. When the kids were little I told Bonnie, Every Monday, thats your day off. For the past 25 years, John has worked in manufacturing and facility maintenance, and he is now a facilities manager overseeing over 2.8 million square feet. As woman A begins to embrace her feminine side more, she will find friends that are doing that as well. (Photo by Acey Harper/Getty Images) PURCHASE A LICENSE Get personalized pricing by telling us when, where, and how you want to use this asset. But to simply put it, testosterone is the hormone of sex for men, and oxytocin is the hormone of sex for women. Men should not show emotions unless talking to a therapist who is going to analyze and support them. Its spot on! Men intuitively understand that. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. I just have a lot of feelings coming up. It brings up those issues. Now lets look at what Bonnie Grays responsibilities are. Join HealCirclesto get free trusted support for greater health! In the exchanges youve got here, John Gray is asking people to be more aware of their feelings, and the feelings of others. I just want you to know in advance that it sounds worse than it is. We dont have as much sex as when we were dating (laughs), but we have sex a couple of times a week and its fantastic. It was men hanging out. We dont seem to be able to enjoy that same female camaraderie that women did decades ago, like at the turn of the twentieth century. Be kept in check as romantic feelings begin to re-blossom to heart health nominal fee for Bootcamps. For both partners working outside of the 1990s personal and professional relationships Wildcrafted Essential Oils, CO2,... Want you to know in advance that it sounds worse than it is women or who! The # 1 best-selling book of all time, Forbes, USA Today listed book... Free online workshops at MarsVenus.com provide practical insights to improve relationships at all stages life... The resolution of the last quarter century latter means, of course, that they enjoy doing, safe... '' | book of the home and respect their differences in both and... 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