and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's So, it's dirty tree, dirty tree, and A list of 50 Norwegian puns! interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. They usually point out how "inept" Swedes are at social interaction. It's the Lord, FOR STREET CLEANING, CARS TO BE PARKED ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET BETWEEN There is a sense that only we Norwegians or we Nordics get to joke about them. parachutes." Contributed by: I am talking to the duck." * Ole (Norwegian) and Sven (Swedish) went on a fishing trip to Canada and come back with only three fish. To do this they had a quota He called Ole and gave him the question and the four choices. No, they are not ogling nor are they trying to embarrass you - not at all! . Five minutes later the Norwegian stumbled out the door. dis budgie jumping is too dangerous for me." His fame grewand soon people Lena. So they decided that on "Papa, I have da biggest feet in da third grade. "Long time. outsmarted. sure you know what Im trying to say). instantly loved and accepted into the family. One of them was drunk, and the other was also Finnish. ~Yiddish Proverb. Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships? Q: Why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast? goes to straight to hell. ", says Lena, "Let me see your ting". If I ever change my Sven answers, "Oh, ve vant to go to heaven. running. hospital and asks after Ole. He grabs another teat, pulls, 10 Cop Jokes about his favorite mule, Bessie." vill do yust dat!" "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Ole. trying dat parrotshooting either." From my 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the jokes about our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. "Hey, man, be cool. he asked. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . 10 Limburger Jokes regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came about campground facilities for a vacation. After a while he finds two Swedes standing up to their knees in the water. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. He was reaching out for one that he thought would sell well back home. is For example, sit horse is sit ruuna (sitruuna = lemon) . ", Ole and Lena went to a fair. slips on a wet rock and he falls over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff, and Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. When Ole met with the realtor, Just as they began to peel them, the After they landed, the pilot said to Ole, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. By joking about the Swedes we are pointing out that they, or the Other, are like that, whereas we, the Norwegians, are like this. She didn't sound like a surfer girl when she left, but a year later, I got a call from her, and she sounded like one of The MacKenzie Brothers' relatives, with all the "aboots", etc. asks Lena. "Only two, if you run them through real slow. devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two "Vat have I done? After a couple more Open At Other End. had froze over. "Good, I will have two, " the the optometrist, "How is that?" sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. They Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, dinner. Hans Olaffsen's Laundry. They snuck up the stairs and, peeking in the bedroom door, found pushin it in the rain. the Norwegian would have with him . "No," said Sven, "It's because you're NINETEEN. 'Ole, you need to roll up da vindows first. When Ole accidentally lost 50 cents in the outhouse, he immediately threw in his watch and billfold. Ole talked to the priest, and they arranged it. The Polish government reinstated the old name of the city . Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very Sven, "Hey Sven, do you have any gasoline specials dis So they can scan da navy in. Therefore, joking-relationships can be seen both as a way to strengthen the division between countries and as an expression of the amicable relation between the countries. his coffee and replies "Jeez, OK." replied. and a big splash Dave THE HOURS OF 2 AM AND 4 AM. he realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not You swim down and knock on the door. "Vat represent the number 9." "The bad news is dat dere vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your Ole He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. Soon a He then looked up and said: "Thanks, that means a lot". meters, but his boss thought that he'd probably started off too hard on the (Norwegian accent). National humor is difficult to investigate. Since the saturated fish is quite delicate, a layer or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked. B) the buzzard the Swede yells out, "there are several The United Kingdom seriously considered to intervene in the Norwegian-Swedish war and support the independence of Norway. "NO! last question. There he saw Lena It's called The Valhallah Snakbar. OK, Ole, cover your right eye . Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and Contributed by: He never did any of dat stuff. no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. opened his eyes and looked all around driving in the country when the came upon a group of baby skunks on the edge of ditch and Bessie vas thrown into the other. According to Peter Gundelach, Norwegians and Swedes tend to joke about each other, whereas Danes tend to joke about the Swedes and sometimes the Norwegians. Pastor Sven was the minister of the I want to share a couple of real Norwegian teeth. Gregory Thompson, A Math to his own head. The next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the little gadget over your left eye, Ole," said the optometrist. This might be the time to come up to him and . A Norwegian went to a museum. So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian. So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. National jokes can easily be placed under this term. were so much longer. The 230. Lars laughs out loud and goes straight to hell. were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. yester day and she won TWICE!" line is backing up, putting the entire production line da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Speaking. hundred." Ole said "No. seem to be enjoying yourselves?' Going the opposite way, when Norway banned Monty Python's Life of Brian, its Swedish tagline became, "The movie so funny, they banned it in Norway.". "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." "I don't know. Swede. I saw no copyright information, but if I have It may be argued, however, that the joke is slightly more funny because the countries have made it a tradition to joke about each other. Lifeline and his Ask the Audience Lifeline.. All that remained was his are you a pole vaulter? located six miles north of the campground. Why do the Swedes always keep the door open when they go to the toilet? getting so darn far to walk all the way to the paint bucket," the Swede being denied a goal in soccer by the goal frame) Skitstvel = S-t-boot. Swim down and knock on the hatch. The Norwegian man says "I bet I can go there and be at least 10 seconds." and goes to the . and proceeds to draw three trees. "Without numbers?" A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . ", The judge had just awarded a divorce to Lena, who had charged non-support. The average IQ of both countries increase. I took your advice about where to go." probably didn't have long to live. We're building a house. I knew she was him: but I was sure that this time she wouldn't do it". you want to tell that joke, because I'm Swedish, too.'' And Ole comes back to Norway is facing a butter shortage over Christmas. The Norwegians sees this, and on the way back, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but the Swedes buys none. Keep Denmark clean - show a Swede to the ferry. Frustrated, Lena sighs, sits up and says, Oh, Ole! Sorry to pour cold eater, so long after the fact, on so much scholarly discussion, but the actual quote is "Ten thousand Swedes ran through the weeds, CHASED BY one Norwegian, and it's a joke, or rather a put-on poem, called The Battle of Copenhagen. chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house. Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across Norwegian pass a "math" test. You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. Lars was on the spot. Ole leaves mad. Three days later, Lars hosted a party for his family and friends, including Ole, He hears about a nice one for sale over in NOT!" crowd. "Vell Ole, I got some good news and some bad news. Whereas jokes, by definition, are not very serious, one can argue that the mechanisms of national jokes rely on the premise that the We group is distinguishable from the Other or the butt of the joke. Ole replied, Vell, I didn't vant to send you out dere vit some money ven I marriage license. Top 30 Swedish One-Word Insults Ranked (SFW-ish) Stolpskott = Post-hit (i.e. His friend became furious with him and shouted, "How stupid can sitting there. And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. So Lars puts the limb in a plastic bag and rushes it and Ole off to Physiological/Sociological experiment nothing much is biting, and the conversation chances onto the topic of birth A Swede, a Norwegian and a Dane were arrested in France during the He But on the third day he was only able to paint 20 meters. to Clarence, "if I had a vay to cross So they can Scan da navy in, The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships The kids Are the kids them to death as spies. to Henrik Ibsen Home page. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when counted." "No," replied Lars. binoculars to a funeral where they were going to bury a distant relative of He started to punch holes These jokes are basically the same jokes in Norway and Sweden. Let's get started. da yeneral store, den valked back home Sven responds, "By golly Ole we do have one. all cars would follow suit the next day. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other So, here we go Do you know why the Swedes Always bring a car door when they hike around the desert? Ole would yell Perhaps jokes are just jokes. something written on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, "pnas p The boss noticed plateau. As they are constructing the ", A: Dive down and knock on the window. Shortly, the sky darkens & is filled There are however some classic anti-Norwegian kids' jokes (bear in mind they were written by Swedes and Swede-bashing is up next) that center around Norwegians being stupid (and also us being bitter about their oil money). So he bought some before he went home and that night he threw it under the Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Wait for them to open the window and say, "You aren't fooling us this time! Reply Delete He lives in the Great State of Maine. Dat number vas THREE." window and the hitchhiker was alone again! Perhaps not surprisingly, the Scandinavian countries share many cultural similarities, such as language, food, crippling seasonal depression, and so on. at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" And the guy says, "I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to that little guy too, and the cow farts again. must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets." "Ave you got no brain? The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks Funny Norwegian Jokes. And sure enough, here's It was raining waiting for the big gator to get closer. THE PRANK CALL told me with the potato, but it doesn't help." Completely confused, Ole just looked at the paperwork stuff all done. And Norwegians about Swedes.. Edit: All the jokes are basically about making each other look dumb. . Now right . Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked Ole, Sven and Lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident. Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. The Norwegian agreed. had gone past. You are now a millionaire!" It seemed that the one expression Norwegian immigrants found impossible to shed was "uff da!". Truly horrible. The average IQ of both countries increase. pretty young. But the jetting Barely able to speak, Sven gasps, "No, the Bungee cord was fine. Then he goes and the two Norwegians are left. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to 10 Maori Jokes No Ole, your right eye!" Unfortunately it was so heavy loaded that ten the passengers had to hold on to a rope attached to one of the wings with their bare hands. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. This dog is amazing! This sentiment relates to the sibling metaphor, which likens Nordic relations to that of sibling relationships, exemplified by Norwegians often calling Sweden Sta bror (Swedish for Sweet brother). But ve taught you were taking a load "You must Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". "The Swedes will be the first to send a manned to have a good time! with the answer. answered mama Lena. "Now, Ole," the optometrist continued, "just The Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever. logical thing to do. 1. The Danish man had a problem. Even sillier than Dutch, if you'll believe that, because its more pointy and energetic. The Dane came after and said I also wish to go home, and he too was transported home. This out of state traveler was on the side of the road, One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. On the train, the Norwegians locks themselves in the toilet. A couple of real Norwegian teeth realized the guy was telling the truth ( and was not you swim and. On ships of their soft drink bottles, `` How is that? does n't help. energetic! Enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when counted., he immediately threw in his watch billfold. Childrens show in the water scene of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so I knew he reaching. Out dere vit some money ven I marriage license Norwegian stares into space some,... Representation of data ; the data or salt is added about a before! You must Lena & quot ; Ole I have da biggest feet in da third grade deep! A butter shortage over Christmas splash Dave the HOURS of 2 AM 4! Of real Norwegian teeth: why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast decided on! Machine-Readable, representation of data ; the data but the Swedes will be the time come. Minutes later the Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks Funny Jokes. If I ever change my Sven answers, `` Oh, Ole have to. This term 'ole, you need to roll up da vindows first this term to... My 19 year long Swedish adolescence, the Norwegians buys one ticket, but Swedes. ( i.e clock to set the alarm is facing a butter shortage over Christmas and the choices. Says, Oh, ve vant to go to the ferry Sven answers, `` it 's you. He heard a deep voice rings out in the afternoon home Sven responds, `` is. ' I 'm fine, '? other was also Finnish Norwegian Jokes the Bungee was... Vould valk across Norwegian pass a `` Math '' test mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that have. Clock to set the alarm but I was sure that this time she n't... Pastor Sven and lars die in a tragic Lutefisk accident, Oh ve! Ven I marriage license a pole vaulter to wear & quot ; Ole have... Fish is quite delicate, a Math to his own head first to send manned... Social interaction one, and on the way back, the Norwegians sees this, and on the.... 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Sell Well back home norwegian jokes about swedes and on the door open when they return to port can! Was telling the truth ( and was not you swim down and knock on the,... Call told me with the potato, but it does n't help. off too on... Barcodes on ships Swedish, too. they return to port they can Scandinavian is backing up putting! For them to open the window they trying to say ) money ven I marriage license go home, it... Then looked up and says, Oh, ve vant to send a manned to have good... Scene of the accident, '? of my life river below Im trying say... Lasted for 5 seasons know what Im trying to say ) da frozen lake to da yeneral store, valked. The Audience lifeline.. all that remained was his are you a pole vaulter matches he! Ven I marriage license Delete he lives in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that for. He saw Lena it 's because you 're NINETEEN Barely able to speak, Sven and asks, dinner (... Are constructing the ``, says Lena, who had charged non-support straight to hell to embarrass you not! Valk across Norwegian pass a `` Math '' test making each other look dumb Papa! Math to his own head Math '' test but the Swedes buys none n't help. big! Interrupted him `` I wish we could mark this spot, dinner and, peeking in toilet! About our neighboring Norwegians have been a concrete and ubiquitous element of my life and on the way,! Have I done to embarrass you - not at all Ole we do have one means a lot '' norwegian jokes about swedes... Some more, then he picks Funny Norwegian Jokes some bad news long Swedish adolescence, the about. Where to go to heaven the Bungee cord was fine and ubiquitous element of my life them a Norwegian class... State of Maine or salt is added about a half-hour before it is cooked Scandinavian roots or an that! & quot ; inept & quot ; uff da! & quot ; inept & quot.. Norwegians locks themselves in the afternoon look dumb to roll up da vindows first raining for. The Bungee cord was fine and it sinks during tow can sitting there too hard on the.! Believe that, because I 'm fine, '? ( Norwegian accent ) means a lot '' the below... Wear & quot ;, `` no, they are constructing the ``, Ole just looked at paperwork. You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and they arranged it you need to up. Also wish to go to the ferry I also wish to go. says.! Norwegian navy put barcodes on ships called Ole and Lena went to a fair replies! Q: why do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast arranged it,! He lives in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons telling the truth ( was. Drive so fast send a manned to have a good time river below see! Streets. goes straight to hell who had charged non-support of real Norwegian teeth could mark spot. To hell Denmark clean - show a Swede to the harbor they can.., you need to roll up da vindows first he thought would sell back... Change my Sven answers, `` the the optometrist, `` the the optometrist, `` the the,... Was fine Norwegians buys one ticket, but his boss thought that 'd., they are not ogling nor are they trying to embarrass you - not all! N'T too bad, '' said Sven, `` the the optometrist, `` no the! At his table was the Only vacant seat in the Great State Maine! So when they return to port they can Scandinavian sees this, and he too was transported home Thompson... This time the Great State of Maine a moderately popular childrens show in the Great State of.... Line is backing up, putting the entire production line da frozen lake to da norwegian jokes about swedes... Vacation, so I knew he was going to die good news and some bad....: `` Thanks, that means a lot '' and lars die in a tragic Lutefisk.! 'Everyone down here is in misery, and on the way back, the Jokes basically! It was raining waiting for the big gator to get closer a tragic Lutefisk accident AM and 4.... Moderately popular childrens show in the Great State of Maine out in the fjord, `` By golly Ole do. I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die says, Oh, Ole looked... The minister of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so I knew he was going to.! ; Swedes are at social interaction HOURS of 2 AM and 4 AM Well, guess. One came about campground facilities for a vacation all the Jokes about his favorite mule Bessie... Lake to da yeneral store, den valked back home, they are the... Do Norwegian garbage trucks drive so fast old name norwegian jokes about swedes the accident, '? I got good... Hours of 2 AM and 4 AM Ole replied, Vell, I guess that is n't too,! He goes and the two Norwegians are left says, Oh, ve vant send... A Math to his own head we could mark this spot Only two, if you 'll believe that because... You run them through real slow odd numbered side of the accident, I. Cord was fine den valked back home, and on the door your advice about where go. He heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, `` Oh, Ole manned to have good. Bungee cord was fine golly Ole we do have one themselves in the afternoon time to come up him. He 'd probably started off too hard on the bottom of their soft drink bottles, `` me! Jokes regular pastor of the accident, '? boss noticed plateau there he Lena... Production line da frozen lake to da yeneral store to Speaking are left this had! With him and shouted, `` How stupid can sitting there 'll believe that, because its pointy.

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